A friend of mine recently had a relationship, that had been going on for almost three years, end. When I think about it, it makes me a little sad and a bit fearful for my own relationship. I know that she and I are two different people and that our partners, or ex-partner as it is for her, are also very different from each other, but I can't help but find some sort of parallel between us.

James and I, we've gone through a lot of relationship problems. I know a lot of the time our problems stem from a lack of communication and the tendency to blow small things out of proportion. I am grateful everyday that, despite all my insanities, he has stuck by me because he loves me enough not to give up on us. We're not a perfect couple but I know that I'm trying to be better and that James is supporting me the best way he knows how, and I'm actually really happy for once, as I haven't been in a little while. Each day brings me a little closer to being the person I want to be for him. I know it's difficult at the moment because we're so far apart and the times we were together were always shadowed by the fact that soon we would have to be apart again. But things are looking up, I can feel it.

In regards to this friend of mine, I always imagined that she had such a deep, committed relationship nothing could possibly go wrong. I do believe that they were even engaged and planning to be married in the not-too-distant future. I can only speculate about what exactly happened to end the relationship, but I know for certain that her entire world has fallen apart ever since. It makes me sad to see the things she's been saying in regards to her own worth and purpose in life. That one pivotal moment has changed her as a person, has stolen away from her all the hope and faith she had for the future. It's taken away her belief in and ability to love.

I believed her relationship was so much stronger than mine, so much more stable and mature. They were even best friends to begin with. It always seemed like some sort of paperback romance. Now it's just...over. It's all so surreal. I knew how excited she was about this relationship. She'd kept it a secret for so long, and when she was finally able to express it to everyone I knew it was a big relief, and a great joy, for her to be able to show her love freely. And now that's gone. She just seems like a shell, if even that, of her old self. That disturbs me.

I want to say all the cliches - "time heals all wounds..." etc. But I can't. Why? Because I don't know if it will. I don't even know what to say to her, despite the fact that, at certain points in my relationship, I've felt like all was lost. But at the end of the day they're not. I'm still with James, he still loves me and I do not have the ability, or the right, to give her the kind of comfort I'm sure she needs. I have so much to say, but it's never the right thing. I hate that.